Ok, so, setting a reminder on my phone to write a blog post, now.
Anyway… The last week has been weird and stressful. I almost forgot to get the data from my work and even with what I got, I am starting to think that it’s not enough…and by that I mean that I am not sure of the point. However I think the data gathered on my fitbit will do nicely. We’ll see how this project plays out…if I can mentally finish all of my final projects.
I am just so stressed out. This whole school thing….it’s drainging. Here I am again, looking for a FOURTH school to go to. I am so tired, mentally, of transferring, and honestly I am at the point where I don’t even know if I can handle college for much longer. My brain feels fried. I can’t afford to move again so soon so I am limited to online options and I starting to wonder if I can even keep up the discipline to do that. Also, everyone else at the school is depressed and stressed and their energies are so low that the whole school feels like it has a dark cloud over it. It makes me depressed too and everyone is sucking out each other’s energy and it’s like a bunch of vampires roaming the school but everyone is running out of energy so we’re all just moping around. It’s exausting. And I’m supposed to have the energy to do 5 final projects in the next four weeks??? Plus putting together a portfolio so I’m not screwed anymore than I already am??? And finding a new school to transfer to..again???
I feel like I’ve been trying to subdue my pain, to keep a brave face on for my friends and my family, classmates, even for the teachers but…. it hurts. All of this really hurts. This school was supposed to be where I finished….I’ve never been more compelled to do something than I was to move out here. And now I feel like I am being thrown for a loop…What is the universe trying to tell me? Was I not actually supposed to finish here?
I need some guidance.